Dementia - When the Mind Forgets, Love Must Remember
A Kinesiopractor's Guide to Supporting Loved Ones with Dementia
By Dirk van Wyk | Kinesiopractor & Counsellor
on behalf of Cura Private Nursing Care
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re walking a difficult road. A loved one—your mother, father, partner, sibling—is facing dementia. Maybe it’s Alzheimer’s. Maybe it’s vascular or mixed dementia. Whatever the diagnosis, one thing is certain: life has changed, not just for them—but for you too.
As a Kinesiologist, Counsellor, and someone who’s worked closely with families affected by dementia, I want to offer you this:
Understanding. Guidance. And a little peace.
This post is not about clinical facts. It’s about heart, dignity, and how to show up for those who are slowly slipping away from the version of themselves you once knew.
What Your Loved One May Be Going Through
Imagine waking up and not knowing where—or when—you are. The room looks familiar, but strange. The face beside you is kind, but nameless. You try to speak, but words get tangled. People speak quickly. Tasks seem impossible. Nothing feels safe.
That’s what dementia often feels like.
It’s not just memory loss—it’s disconnection from reality. And that disconnection often comes with fear, shame, confusion, and eventually… silence.
The result? They may lash out. Withdraw. Cry. Laugh inappropriately. Forget you. Or call you “Mom” when you’re actually their daughter. These are not acts of defiance. They’re signs of a nervous system overwhelmed by noise.
At Cura Private Nursing Care, we believe dignity doesn’t end with diagnosis. It’s preserved through compassion, patience, and informed care.
How You Can Help: Body, Mind & Spirit Support
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Step into their world
Correcting them rarely helps—it only creates distress. If they believe they’re getting ready for work or waiting for their mother, meet them there. Say, “Tell me about your job,” or “What was your mother like?” -
Speak clearly, not loudly
Use calm, short sentences. Give them time to process. Our tone and body language often speak louder than our words. -
Acknowledge emotion, not logic
If they believe someone is “stealing their things,” try: “I can see that’s upsetting you. Let’s look for it together.” Reassurance matters more than reality. -
Protect routine like it’s sacred
Daily rituals reduce anxiety. A familiar chair, same cup for tea, favourite old songs—they bring grounding and comfort. -
Give them purpose
Even the smallest act, like folding laundry or stirring a pot, restores dignity. It’s not about the task—it’s about feeling needed. Even it is done wrong - it's OK, acknowlege them and say "Thank you". -
Speak as if they’re still listening
Even when words fade, presence is felt. Avoid speaking over or about them. Let them hear kindness in your voice, even in their silence.
The Body Remembers What the Mind Forgets
As a Kinesiologist, I work with the body’s memory. And here’s what I can tell you: even when the mind loses detail, the body remembers love, safety, and connection.
Touch their hand. Look them in the eye. Smile.
Your energy is their medicine. Even if they forget your name—they will not forget how you made them feel.
At Cura Private Nursing Care, we work with this principle daily—balancing medical care with heartfelt interaction. Our nurses and caregivers are trained not just in practical support, but in relational presence. Because every human deserves to be seen, not just treated.
Don’t Forget Yourself
You cannot pour from an empty cup. Dementia caregiving can feel isolating, exhausting, and emotionally brutal. If you feel frustrated or heartbroken, that’s normal.
You need care too.
Reach out. Ask for help. Take that break.
Whether it’s through friends, therapy, or our Cura team—we’re here to lighten your load and help you breathe.
A Final Word From the Heart
Dementia may erase memories, but it cannot erase the soul.
Your presence becomes the bridge between confusion and comfort.
And when they forget the world… you become their world.
So be gentle—with them, and with yourself. This is sacred work.
With compassion,
Dirk van Wyk
Kinesiopractor | Counsellor
Personal Wellness Sanctuary